my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
