Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize