God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
