Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
