I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Everclear isn't food dammit
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
