in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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