In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
