How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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