You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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