Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
