This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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