how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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