we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
