Duck Duck Cougar?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
