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• (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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• (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.

  (206): View more from Washington

  WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I accidentally stubbed my dick

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  What does that even mean?

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