I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
