; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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