if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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