so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
