I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
