Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
