Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry about my life...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
