David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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