So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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