I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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