I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
