wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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