I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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