Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
