you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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