Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
