ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
