is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
