I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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