pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize