Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
