Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
