wake up i wanna do it froggy style
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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