Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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