Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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