WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
