I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
