real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize