My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
