You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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