Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
