Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
