Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize