He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
