Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
