Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Randomize
