omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
