i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
