if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
