The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
