i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
