I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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