I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
